Why you do that?

There’s a couple things I’m looking forward to as I get closer to becoming a parent. Naturally the whole experience itself is something to be thrilled for, but for the sake of talking shit and chuckles, I’ll keep this limited.

Fabricating detailed scenarios involving my child and posting said scenario to social media…

“Little four year old Billy saw a homeless man today and proceeded to cry for three hours straight, claiming all he wants is for every human to feel love and to be warm at night. Sooo we turned around and drove 3 hours back, just so my sweet Billy could give the man McDonalds and a blanket. Now he’s asking to do this every weekend. So blessed to call you mine”

Never. Happened.

Excruciatingly long drawn out social media posts for your kid(s), who themselves, do not have social media accounts….

A 1500 word caption to your two year old on their birthday….who are you really writing this for? Wouldn’t actually speaking these words to your child be more meaningful? Are we trying to impress friends and follows? Do social media posts improve parenting skills?

When little Billy is 14 and gets on social, do you think he will stalk mom/dad’s profile and be overwhelmed with a greater sense of appreciation for them as a parent for all the photos and exquisite captions?

“Though she be but little she is fierce”

Shakespeare.

Originality. Unmatched.

More to come. Parents do dumb shit daily, looking forward to observing and joining the ranks.